Bread

Ok so today is the first day of trying to diet and I am already failing miserably. My number one enemy is bread. I blame my mother really. That woman could bake the best bread in the world and she did often. When I was little she made the bread that was kind of sweet and when it would come out of the oven my sister and I would swarm, begging for warm buttered pieces for a snack. As we got older she got a bread machine and she made some other kind that was just as good but we were old enough to make it ourselves and did often. Same thing, we were like vultures waiting for the machine to ding so we could get the butter and have warm bread. We weren't the only ones either. Somer had these two friends who would come in and raid the cabinets and eat a whole loaf by themselves. I would get so mad at the I could spit. My mom also had this killer french bread recipe which she is famous for. Dad would get agravated because he liked making sandwhiches out of it and again I would take huge hunks with butter. i could eat half a loaf in one sitting.
As an adult I discovered several resteraunts that had amazing bread. When I was seventeen I went to Tennessee to visit my Grandma and Grandpa for the summer and the took me to meet my Grandma's best friend and later to be Grandpa's girlfriend Darlene. The sad part about that visit is it is bookmarked in my brain as the day I discovered Cheddar Bay Biscuits at Red Lobster. I ate eight of them with dinner. EIGHT!! At resteraunts like Olive Garden, Redlobster, and O Charleys. I just tell the waiter keep the bread baskets coming. My friend Tammy loves to tell the story of her and her husband going out to dinner with me and mine at Caraba's. The waiter came up and I told him to bring a loaf to me and one for the rest. He did and I ate mine all. I actually brought the remainder of theirs home with my left overs.
As you can see I have a love affair with bread and it is even worse than the one I have with chocolate. So my problem today comes from the to loaves of french bread i bought earlier this week to go with spagetti. We still had a half a loaf of bread and it was calling my name at lunch. I should have just thrown it out but I hate trowing out good food so I ate about three pieces with butter of course. So it has not been a stellar start to my weight loss efforts. The worse part is that I appear to have passed my love of bread on to my babies. They can eat quite a bit themselves. I am gonna have to explain to my family that white bread of any kind is no longer allowed in this house. I don't love whole wheat bread the way I love white bread. And I guess one good thing is when we go out to eat we will be able to go to some of our favorite resteraunts that doesn't serve it. My poor husband has had to deal with all resteraunts chosen going through the bread test. If it didn't have good bread we didn't go very often.
So here is to me trying to break my addiction to bread. I hope that I can once and for all get rid of it.

The Journey

Ok so the name is corny but it has a purpose. So anybody who has known me from childhood knows that I was very skinny as a child and adolescent. I was called everything from beanpole, ethiopia girl, Olive Oil, to my personal favorite mosquito bites. Oh yes mosqito bites was my friends favorite to call me in high school as I was a very late bloomer. But even when I finally "bloomed" my chickeny legs provided plenty of fuel for the fire. Little did I know I would eventually long for the days when I was called a beanpole. I will never forget the day I realized I was no longer the superskinny girl. I was sitting in my dormroom with my roommate Bitsy, who was complaining about her weight, and she commented that no one ever saw themselves as too skinny. I said I have always thought I was too skinny. She then gave me a look like I had lost my mind and in that instant I realized I HAD gained a few pounds. In the years that follwed I have gained more than a few pounds. In fact I have gain about 60. The funny thing is apparently I have always seemed to have the opposite problem that anorexics have. Instead of seeing myself as overly fat I have always seen that painfully skinny girl in the mirror. So I eat all the crap I want and get little exercise. But in recent months I have taken a good look and thought "Wow who is that fatty in the mirror!" So I am blogging about my journey back to a healthy weight. Not back to chickeny legs hopefully but a healthy weight. I weight where I can play with my kids without getting winded after five minutes. A weight where I can feel good about myself. And a new lifestyle that I can feel good about passing on to my children. So here's to the journey and I would apreciate all the encouragement you can throw my way.